


Pale Skin

by FrozenMemories



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s15e18 The End Game, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 06:13:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20902943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrozenMemories/pseuds/FrozenMemories
Summary: Finn is still in a coma and Sara sits by her bedside, contemplating her feelings.





	Pale Skin

She didn’t remember how she could have ever thought purple was a good color on Julie. Now her skin looked ghastly pale against the dark bruises that covered more than half of her face.

They’d washed her hair, the brownish crust of blood was gone and if it wasn’t for the unsettling discolorations she’d have looked peacefully asleep.

But she wasn’t sleeping. And she wasn’t likely to wake up any time soon.

She’d long since lost track of time over how long she’d been sitting there by her bedside, just staring at her still form, reassuring herself that at least Julie’s chest kept rising and falling in a slow but steady rhythm. She avoided looking at the tubes that aided her breathing. She looked so fragile. A deep sense of yearning tempted her to touch but Sara was afraid, so damn afraid of reaching out and finding Julie’s body unresponsive.

Not that she’d have a right to touch her anyway, unconscious and unaware Julie had no chance to tell her off, tell her she was unwanted. So she stayed still, eyes set firmly on Julie’s quietly moving chest.

The doctors and nurses had told them to talk to her, to hold her hands, make her feel their presence. Still, she was reluctant. She wasn’t like DB or Nick or even Greg, showing their affection openly, coming in with smiles on their faces and greeting her as if she was sitting right there in that bed instead of lying with her eyes closed.

The truth was she didn’t even know what to say. Julie had the ability to make her feel nervous on the best of days, with that damn sunshine smile and those sparkling eyes. Sara often felt like a clumsy mess around her. She should be able to talk to her now, not knowing if her words even made it through. She should just seize the moment and confess to her what she’d never be able to say to her face if those gleeful eyes were glinting at her. She hadn’t felt this way about anyone in too long a time to remember and now here she was, deprived of any chance to act on it.

The sting of unshed tears made her blink.

She stifled her sniffles. Despite being alone in the room with Julie she felt somewhat ashamed. She had no right to grieve her as if she’d lost her. She had no right to feel this way about her.

Through her blurred vision she thought she’d seen a twitch. Her heart did a double take and she rigidly leaned forward in her chair.

“Finn?” she croaked, feeling like she hadn’t spoken in years.

Wiping her eyes for a clearer view she focused on the still hand. Nothing moved. With a thunder inside her chest she tentatively reached out to brush her fingers over a pale wrist. There was a strong pulse. Irregular, she realized with a start, until it dawned on her that what she was feeling was the rush of her own blood through the tips of her own fingers.

Gently, she let them slide over the back of Julie’s hand. It was warmer than she'd expected against her cool damp skin. Pale but alive. _Alive_. Without thinking she tightened her grip around the torpid fingers in a dangerously intimate manner. It felt wrong and yet she couldn’t restrain herself. Ever so gently she squeezed Julie’s unresponsive hand.

“Please,” she whispered, tears rolling silently down her cheek, “wake up, Julie.”


End file.
